Addition By Subraction

First of all, I am an idiot.

I lose 13 pounds in less than 10 days.  HUGE.  Finally break the 30 lb mark.  So what do I do then?

Take 9 days off!  I’m so dumb.  It started off innocently enough by just not writing down what I was eating on that Saturday I weighed in.  Then on Sunday I didn’t.  Then…it goes on and on.  And then I got stuck into two thoughts:

1.     If I don’t keep count, then it’s an off day.  I’ll just eat whatever I want and then I’ll start again tomorrow.

2.       I’ve got to eat this bad food for me now, because I won’t get to eat it again for such a long time.

So dumb.  That’s the attitude that got me here in the first place.  Such a bad attitude.  That idea of eating now.  I’ve got to eat it now!!!  Oh man.  And I’ve found out, that unless I plan my meal, i.e. take a lunch with me or a plan, I end up over eating.  And if I don’t write it down, then I’m screwed.  And if I don’t pack my crap up the night before, I’m not going to pack up in the morning.

I can’t believe all the head games I have to play to do this thing.  I’ve got to be so proactive and vigilant!  And I’m so afraid of not getting to eat anything fun or good ever again, which is just dumb.

So I didn’t weigh in on Saturday, for fear of seeing a weight gain and because I got up too late.

So where is the addition among all this negativity?

Jen was going to have me go to Kohl’s for some close out clearance clothes and I need some new pants.  But I didn’t want to spend more money on fat clothes that I am hoping aren’t going to fit soon.  So in a latch ditch effort, I grabbed some pants that I was hanging on to in hopes that they’d fit me when I was skinnier.

And they do!  I’m wearing a pair now!  I have two good pairs and one pair that I still need to lose more weight to get into, but I can wear them and button them.  They’re just pretty tight.  So, jen says I look better in pants that aren’t so baggy!  So I’m finally downsizing my clothes!!!  HOORAY!!!!!!!